Blustery Days in Aberdeenshire

27 Mar

A performance bonus to Donald Trump, who, according to the BBC, is upset by the prospect of a wind farm sullying the views to be enjoyed by guests at his luxury resort near Aberdeen. Said Mr. Trump, “We will be bringing a lawsuit within the allocated period of time to stop what will definitely be the destruction of Aberdeen and Scotland itself.”

Exactly how the wind turbines are going to destroy Scotland itself is hard for us mortals to divine, but I am hopeful that a way can be found to avert the disaster, by harnessing the power generated by the considerable volumes of wind emanating from Mr. Trump himself. If this necessitates towing Mr. Trump out to sea, I suppose we’ll just have to see if we can’t find a way to live with that.

Mr. Trump went on to say, “We will spend whatever monies are necessary to see to it that these huge and unsightly industrial wind turbines are never constructed.” This has worked for him in the past, but in this case the major economic and scientific benefits the wind farm is expected to bring to the area, might outweigh even his financial clout.

So why a performance bonus, instead of a written warning, for someone who is behaving in this way? It is in honour of his contribution to the Scottish economy and, in particular, the profits of the Glenfiddich distillery. Glenfiddich ran a promotion, where people voted for the “Top Scot” of the year.  The winner was this gentleman.

A few years ago, local farmer, fisherman and quarryman, Michael Forbes famously refused to move from his ramshackle property that Trump claimed was an eyesore for guests of his hotel. He even more famously and picturesquely remarked that Mr. Trump could “stick his money up his arse.” Presumably, this would have the benefit of shutting him up. An incensed, and incredulous Trump responded by a long winded tirade, the removal of Glenfiddich from all his properties and a call for all right-minded Scots to boycott the whisky. I have not seen the figures, of course, but it seems safe to assume that the resultant boost to Glenfiddich sales was considerable.

Now, once again, Mr. Trump confronts another blot on the landscape, while himself adding to the blustery conditions that make the area so suitable for a wind farm and disruptive of his barnet.  Like those giant turbine blades, this story might be said to have come full circle.

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